How TikTok Helped Me Manifest a Trip to The Maldives
Okay okay, I know this sounds a little clickbait-y, but I promise this will be worth a read. My mind is still kind of blown by how this one TikTok trend actually caused a series of events to unfold that led me to an incredible last-minute job opportunity in the Maldives this past week.
First, let me share some backstory.
The Lucky Girl Syndrome
I don't typically use TikTok. But I've been trying to dip my toes in it as a way to share longer-form videos that can help encourage and connect with a new audience. It's a goal I've set for myself at the start of the year that I'm more-or-less on track with (still trying to build the habit, and learning to have patience and grace with my imperfections along the way).
Two weeks ago, a friend, knowing about my new venture into this social media platform, sent me some links to TikTok videos talking about a new trend called "The Lucky Girl Syndrome." Mostly, she loved the positivity, especially with some of the junk that can typically "trend" on social media platforms.
In essence, The Lucky Girl Syndrome is simply about deciding, unequivocally, that you are the luckiest girl (or guy) in the world. It's constantly speaking the message that everything is happing for me; everything is always working in my favor; the Universe loves me and is making magic happen for me always.
And the trick here is that these messages must become our habit, our go-to internal dialogue, even when things seem like they're not going to plan. Even when it feels like bad things are happening, when you're running into obstacles and road blocks, when it feels like life is falling apart a little bit.
I know, this might seem absurd. Why would you believe you're the luckiest girl in the world when clearly, circumstances show that you're experiencing a lot of "bad luck"?
Well, one major reason is that we are very short-sited creatures. Our lives are constantly unfolding in complex ways, and the ultimate "result" of the twists and turns and setbacks in our lives often doesn't manifest until weeks, months, or even years later.
I recently wrote a blog about why we shouldn't "judge the moment." Because if you look back on all the moments that at one point seemed "bad" — a painful breakup, getting turned down from a job or school you applied for, an accident or illness or injury (these are all examples from my life, as well) — you might see now, on the other side, that these things happened for your good.
You might be able to now realize how important these events were for your redirection, your personal growth, you evolution. Maybe they simply shifted the course of your footsteps such that you met someone who became important in your life, or who opened up an exciting opportunity for you. Or perhaps, what seemed like a setback actually was shielding and protecting you from something you'll never know about.
Making these reflections in hindsight is important training for your future, when you will inevitable encounter new, unforeseen challenges.
I heard a quote from the movie Bullet Train the other day and it’s stuck with me ever since: "You never know what horrible fate your bad luck has saved you from." In this movie, one of the main characters (Brad Pitt) is convinced he suffers from severe bad luck, although we can see from the outside that all of these strange synchronicities were actually exceptional luck in his favor (he just didn't have the mindset to see things that way).
To keep this story moving along, fast-forward a few days after being introduced to TikTok's Lucky Girl Syndrome trend and watching Bullet Train on Netflix...
I was having one of those days where everything just seemed to be getting jammed in a broken gear. I had a lot of work I wanted to get done, but I kept running into technical issues, logistical issues, traffic issues, etc.
Nothing terrible happened, but I wasn't feeling like the bright shining self I'd prefer to be.
Eventually, I made my way to a cafe to finally get some food and dig into work at about 1pm. Whew. But, when I ordered my meal and opened up my computer, I realized to my dismay that it was dead, and I'd left my charger at home.
*Cue instant annoyance at self.*
I texted a friend asking if she was coming out and could bring me a charger — she replied that she was having a bad day, and was stuck in bed with severe anxiety.
Then, I remembered all this chatter about Lucky Girl Syndrome. I could have been annoyed at myself about the charger incident, or been frustrated that I’d had such an unproductive day and was behind on work, but I attempted to shift my perspective: I instead decided to believe that actually, I was having amazing luck, and all this was happening as an opportunity.
Since I clearly wasn't going to be getting much work done, I decided to quickly eat my food and pick up some treats to take to my friend to hopefully cheer her up.
When I arrived, I held space for her so she could vent and unload, and helped her process what she was feeling. She felt better afterward, and I felt better knowing I was able to support a friend.
After about an hour, she looked at me and said, empathetically, that it was a bummer I didn't have a productive day.
"No way!" I replied. "If that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have texted you and learned that you were struggling, and been able to come support you."
I told her about the TikTok trend and the aforementioned quote from Bullet Train.
The positivity was contagious.
And somehow, it prompted my friend to remember another detail about her day that she'd not told me about yet:
She received a strange call that morning from an old friend, asking if she could leave that day for a last-minute modeling gig in the Maldives. Unfortunately, she didn't have her passport, so she had to decline, so we bemused how we could view this seemingly "bad luck" instead as something positive happening for her.
And then a thought occurred to me. "Could I take your place? I would love to go to the Maldives!"
She laughed it off as a joke, but then I asked again, and told her I was actually serious about my interest. "Oh! Yes of course!” she responded. “Let me send a text and I'll recommend you!"
(In fact, one of my goals for the new year was to do more travel jobs and visit new countries now that borders were open again. So this was an incredible opportunity to make that happen in only the first couple weeks of the year!)
In minutes, I'd connected with the photographer/videographer organizing the trip and confirmed that I could go. Within an hour, I had my flights booked, and was packing my bags to leave for the airport.
Key Takeaway About Manifestation
Here's the thing, if the only result of this Lucky Girl Syndrome that day, was me being able to support a friend who was struggling, that absolutely would have been enough. Not every changed perspective is going to lead to immediate and dramatic manifestation of major goals (and that is FINE).
Sometimes, the real (and most important) change, is how you feel internally, and how you're experiencing life. Seeing an annoyance or setback as an opportunity helps you practice resilience, keeps mental health and overall happiness and inner peace stable, and helps you not be so easily swayed by the ever-changing circumstances around you.
But sometimes, big magic does happen.
This incident tuned me into some key elements of "manifestation" that I wanted to share with you, because this is a buzzword that I think is often misunderstood, and not used or applied effectively.
Manifestation is real. But we don't manifest our dreams and goals by sitting back and passively waiting for good things to happen to us. We must be proactive in the process, and develop the right mindsets to be able to notice, seize, and enjoy opportunities as they arise.
Ask for What You Desire
My friend is one of the most supportive, selfless people I know. The fact that it didn't immediately occur to her to recommend me for the Maldives job, says absolutely nothing about whether she wanted to make good things happen for me. It simply didn't cross her mind!
Which is why it was important that I actually asked her for what I desired.
Once she realized I wanted this opportunity, and it would align for me, she was thrilled to be able to help me out! This was especially true because she was feeling a lot of love, generosity, and gratitude after receiving support during her struggle with anxiety that day. Our energy is contagious, friends! And our focus/attention changes everything.
Don't assume people will freely and openly offer you opportunities if only they really wanted. People have their own lives, concerns, projects, obligations, worries, relationships, etc. that they're filtering through all day every day. You are not the center of their lives and attention, so don't assume you are.
It is not rude to ask for what you want, when you do so humbly and without expectation. Asking for what you want is clear, and often very helpful. Be comfortable receiving a "no" or "not yet" in response, however, as just because you want something, doesn't necessarily mean you're entitled to it from this person.
If you do receive a no, take it gracefully, and if it's helpful, ask why, so that you can get some useful feedback for the future. And most important, decide that even this "rejection" is actually for your good, and don't give up.
2. Get Clear on Your Goals (& Believe You Deserve Them)
It’s also important to note that in order to be able to ask for what you want, you’ve got to clearly know what it is that you want.
You must be prepared so that when the opportunity presents itself, you can identify it, and act on it.
I didn't know how I would get these travel jobs in 2023, but I was clear about the fact that I wanted them. I told my friends that about this goal for the new year, and how excited I was for it. At the time, the method to achieving it wasn't as important as getting very clear, vocal, and bold about what exactly I wanted.
If you want to manifest magic in your life, start by getting very clear on what that would look like for you. Write it down. Tell the people around you what it is you desire (they might even have an opportunity to share with you, but wouldn't have any idea if you don't tell them to keep you in mind!).
And make sure you actually believe you are worthy of these good things. If you are clear as day about a goal, but subconsciously, you keep telling yourself the story that you aren't good enough, you don't deserve it, you aren't worthy, people might judge or disapprove, and so on... then you will continue to self-sabotage on your goals no matter how many times your write them down in your journal.
Remember that the dreams and goals stirring within you are gifts. They are good guidance. They may not manifest exactly as you expect, and you may need to spend a little more time learning/growing/skill-building/preparing in order to see them unfold, but none of this is a question of your inherent worth.
You deserve exceptional things and a fulfilling, joyful life. All of us do. Get clear on your goals and remind yourself that you are worthy of them even when self-doubt arises.
3. Focus Your Attention Outward
When faced with circumstances that seem to be all working against you, it can be challenging in the moment to change your narrative about this actually being "good luck."
Which is why it’s helpful to instead focus your energy and attention outward. Stop focusing on yourself. Instead, think about how this setback gives you an opportunity to help someone else. Move the attention away from yourself and your needs/desires for moment, away from self-pity or self-annoyance, and instead look for opportunities around you to shine your light and make some else’s day brighter.
Who can you serve through this? Who could you connect with and support? How could you imagine this setback equipping you to better connect with, love on, and encourage someone else going through something similar?
Sometimes (often) the best change in perspective is not to get your needs immediately met, but to see that you've taken the initiative to spread love and kindness in the world. This feeling of goodwill and connectedness has proven positive impact on our overall health, happiness, and wellbeing.
It’s not only empowering to see that you are always capable of making such a positive impact in the world, but it will give you an instant change in mood and energy and set you back on track.
4. Trust in the Process of Postponed Results
My Maldives story isn't going to be the standard of manifestation (not for me, and not for you). This is a rather extreme example of how a change in perspective, and this idea of The Lucky Girl Syndrome, shifted my thoughts, actions, and ultimately my outcomes.
However, even if you don't see circumstances change in such a dramatic or immediate way, that doesn't mean that magic isn’t still happening behind the scenes.
Often, the shift is more subtle and internal. As I mentioned before, even if the only thing that resulted from this was me noticing an opportunity to support a friend going through a hard time, that would have been more than enough.
Other times, there may be something incredible building up for you, but it will take a while to see it manifest. My experiences with emotional abuse, divorce, depression, getting rejection from literally hundreds of job inquiries, and so on — all took years for me to eventually see the greater purpose of my struggles. I was proactive in making these trials into something meaningful in my life (and positive for the world), but that was a long process.
Today, I still have some experiences, disappointments, and trauma that I haven’t yet seen the ultimate purpose in… but I’m believing it will absolutely unfold in my favor when the time is right.
The Universe has infinite patience, and has a much wiser, perfect timeline than our limited human minds can comprehend.
Trust the process. Trust that things are constantly working behind the scenes to support you in your efforts, your positive mindset, your generosity and kindness, and your humble boldness.
5. Let “Luck” Trigger Your Gratitude
Typically, I don’t love the idea of “good luck.” I find that the concept of “luck” is used to discount people’s efforts, or to distance to good fortunes of “other people” from oneself… like there is something inherently special about other people that is inaccessible to you.
I believe we make our own luck. I believe that we all experience luck, but we don’t all know what to do with it. We know so many stories of people that appeared to be born into good fortune, opportunity, wealth, endless opportunities available — but their lives fell into chaos, they suffered from depression, they were unable to maintain happy relationships, they wound up broke and unhappy…
We also know stories of people who seemed to be disadvantaged from the get-go, but through powerfully inspiring mindsets, were able to turn their lemons into lemonade.
The difference? Some were able to see and act on opportunity from a positive mindset, and others missed out on the opportunities available to them due to their poor mindsets, habits, and decisions.
I believe you have many gems of good luck constantly being shuffled your way, but you may not always have the awareness, the self-belief, or the boldness to act on them. That’s okay, you are only human. But perhaps you could put an end to this story that success and happiness is for “the lucky ones,” not you.
I also believe that many of us (myself included) are inherently privileged because of the country and families in which we were born, the color of our skin, our sexual orientation, or our religious or cultural or backgrounds. Privilege is real. It doesn’t make anyone a bad person to be born into privilege, but it is your responsibility to be aware of this reality, and practice compassion for those who might have to work extra hard to reach your baseline in life and opportunity.
When I talk about “luck” within the “Lucky Girl Syndrome” concept, I’m referring to a kind of “luck” available to all of us. A universal expression of love and possibility, of our own personal power to chose which internal emotional experience and what kind of reality we’ll create for ourselves.
And, a kind of “luck” that prompts each of us, every day, to be radically humbled in gratitude. To acknowledge that there are so many other people, powers, spirits, and twists of fate that work together to bring blessings into your life.
Lucky Girl Syndrome isn’t about passively expecting good results, discrediting the unearned privileges that come your way, and resigning good fortune to “the lucky ones.” It’s about empowering yourself to notice and act on “luck” and opportunities that come your way, and feeling grateful AF for all of it each day.
I Want You to Experience More Magic in Your Life.
I hope this story was fun for you to read, and that these key takeaways helped you see the concept of "manifestation" and “luck” from a new perspective.
I know it can be a fluffy, woo-woo spiritual term that feels a bit cringey for many, but in reality, our subconscious minds are constantly taking direction from our thoughts, ideas, mindsets, and beliefs — all of which inform our decisions, behaviors, and actions/reactions, and lead to our OUTCOMES.
This isn't just fluff, this is fact (and there's a whole lot of scientific research to support this).
So try it out for the next month. What would happen if you start walking around deciding that you are the luckiest girl (or guy) in the world? If you believe that even the challenges, the setbacks, and obstacles, the disappointments are actually happening for you, not against you? How would it change your emotional experience of life, and impact the decisions, actions, and outcomes that follow?
Wishing you the best of luck (which is inevitable for you, because hey! You are actually insanely lucky, my friend!) as you practice this for the next month. Send me a personal email at hello@alexandrasapercoaching.com to let me know how it goes.
And remember, trust the process. Some setbacks are more deeply painful and challenging than others. Allow yourself space to feel and grieve as needed. Suppressing or avoiding "negative" emotions in favor of "good vibes only" will almost always resurface in damaging ways later.
But when you feel ready, allow yourself to hold space for the possibility that maybe, just maybe, you are being protected, cared for, and loved... that everything is unfolding in a way that is even better than you could have imagined... and that you are always in your power to decide this is true and make it true, rather than remaining passively at the whim of circumstance.
Power to you, friend!
xoxo,
Alexandra
