Don’t Judge the Moment.

It's okay if your 2022 was a big pile of sh*t and here's why.

"Don't judge the moment."

I recently came across this quote in a book I’ve been reading by Jay Shetty, called “Think Like a Monk” (which, by the way, I highly recommend). And, well, it got me thinking about the End-Of-The-Year dramas so many of us put ourselves through.

It felt timely, especially with the last few weeks of the year quickly evaporating (how did that happen?!) which, of course, invites all of us to undertake the (sometimes miserable) task of reflecting on the last 12-ish months and categorize the entire things as either great, or total crap.

You may even find yourself skimming through your social media, trying to decide if more people around you had a "good" year or a "bad" year. And, then, going through the mental gymnastics to decide what that means about you, how well you performed, how far you fell off track, how aggressively the Universe is conspiring against you...

No matter how you’re feeling about the last 11 months, I invite you to repeat this mantra after me: Don't judge the moment.

And then repeat it again and again from now until the end of time.

Our lives, and our experience within the world, is in constant motion.

How often have we "judged" a particular moment in time as being either "good" or "bad," only to learn several moments, days, or even months or years later that things turned in a different direction?

Imagine this:

You go through a painful breakup, and that seems very very "bad." But 3 months later, you get the job offer of a lifetime that requires you to move to a new city. You realize the previous relationship was never a great match anyway, and if it hadn't ended, you wouldn't have the freedom to jump at this new work opportunity. Now, maybe the breakup was a "good" thing!

You move to this new city and start working at your dream job, but quickly realize it's not nearly as fulfilling as you'd anticipated. Your coworkers complain and gossip a lot, the work is tedious, and winters in your new city are miserable. Hmm, now this dream job offer doesn't seem so "good" anymore... maybe it was a mistake?

Your mental health is taking a toll, but your company surprises all employees with an end-of-year bonus and an extra few days off for the holidays. Excellent! You find a deal for a flight to Belize and book yourself a solo trip with part of your bonus. This is absolutely, undeniably a "good" thing! Right?

Until, sadly, you arrive in Belize only to learn that a very unseasonal tropical storm is headed your way. Great, just your luck. Your beach vacay plans are squashed and you're stuck inside the resort for days. Clearly this trip was a "bad" idea all along… What gives, Universe!?

You find yourself in the resort lounge wallowing in self-pity, with the rain pouring outside. Fingering through a stack of books on a shelf, you discover one that speaks to you: "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari."

With all this extra time on your hand, you spend the rest of your holiday reading every word. The story is so inspiring, that you decide it's time to make some massive shifts in your life, which leads you on a devoted journey of personal and spiritual development, and eventually, ditching the corporate world to build a mission-based business of your own. Turns out that tropical storm was one of the best things to ever happen to you.

And so on, and so on, and so on. Until we die.

Get the idea? In any given moment, each of these situations could have seemed obviously "good" or "bad," only to take a twist in a different direction later.

Find evidence in your own life.

Now, of course, pain is real. Heartache, sadness, mental health struggles, trauma — all of these experiences are valid. In fact, I encourage you to sit with these feelings as they arise, fully experience the emotion, and (if helpful) get support to process it in a healthy way, rather than stuffing it down or brushing it off in favor of “good vibes only.”

But I also believe that we can simultaneously feel the depth of the emotions as they arise, while also maintaining perspective. And often, although perhaps not always, that perspective can lead to gratitude, or even forgiveness. Always, it can lead to great personal peace and power, which you deserve.

As the examples laid out above, we know that these “twists” of circumstance can happen over the course of months and years, or even sometimes many times in one single day.

Take notice of that today. How many moments were you quick to judge, only for them to take on a completely different appearance when more, new information was added to the picture?

Now, zoom out even further. Think back on your own life. What were some events or situations that seemed terrible in the moment, but later turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened?

Similarly, consider times where it seemed like everything had finally fallen into place — the perfect job, the dream partner, the financial windfall — only to learn later that it wasn't at all what you thought it would be.

Were these moments good? Were they bad? Were you right or wrong about them?

Does it even really matter?

My suggestion: Accept that, actually, it doesn't matter. Not really. There are much more productive uses of you energy.

We cannot view our lives as isolated “short stories.”

They are filled with complex, mysterious chapters that are all interconnected, impacting the following chapters, and feeding into one beautiful life story.

Seasons are always changing and will continue to change so long as we're still alive. Any attempt to capture a single moment and isolate it from the rest of our existence is, honestly, a bit short-sited and certain to add unnecessary drama to our lives.

Rather than being swung back and forth between the “good” moments and the “bad” moments, try instead staying open to possibility.

Be imaginative and curious. If you were writing this into a novel, how could this moment (or this year) be working behind the scenes to set up your protagonist for success?

Zoom out. Look at the bigger picture. Can you suspend judgment for just a moment, to contemplate how the most frustrating, disappointing, or heartbreaking moments of life could actually work toward your good? Can you make the decision to stay open to that possibility? To seek that outcome? To maybe even be grateful for what it will eventually reveal to you?

You are being planted.

Don’t judge the moment.

None of it is better or worse than another moment, because we never know what it's leading us to next.

So, if you're coming to the end of your 2022 feeling like it was a total sh*tshow, a disaster of a year, a disappointment, a failure and flop especially when compared to everyone around you...

Remind yourself this: You are in constant, connected motion.

You get to choose that this moment, or this sh*tty year, will have purpose. It will have meaning. It will be alchemized into your power simply because you decided it is so.

Personally, 2022 has felt like one of the “best” years of my life. I've rekindled my sense of adventure and love for solo travel. I reunited with my parents after years apart. I launched my most profitable, rewarding, aligned business yet. I felt at home within the most genuine, devoted community I've ever experienced. My creativity was refreshed and inspired.

And you bet, I'm grateful for this. It felt awesome.

But I don't want it to be lost on you, or me, that everything beautiful about my 2022 was set into motion by the hard years preceding it.

Seasons of recovering and healing from breakups. Business setbacks and "failures." Being cut off from the rest of the world and my livelihood: travel. Questioning my purpose, whether I was doing enough, whether I would make it through. Struggling with my mental health. Betrayal, rejection, and isolation. Feeling alone and lost as I tried to find my people in a foreign home.

But I am thankful for all of it. Because without these darker seasons, without these "bad" moments, I would have never encountered the growth, the lessons, the people, and the redirection that led me to the success and happiness I'm experiencing now.

So, maybe they weren’t that “bad” after all…

In fact, they were some of the best plot twists I never would have written on my own.

Be grateful, and trust.

Thank you, Universe, for the things that didn’t work out. Thank you for not giving me what I wanted, because you had something even better in store.

If you’re not there yet, that’s okay. You have permission to feel and grieve at your own pace.

But whatever situation you’re in right, I simply invite you to breathe, and to zoom out for a little perspective.

Situations can, and do, turn. Yes, I’ve had a wonderful year (although not without setbacks and pain), but I'll certainly experience low seasons, hardships, and challenges again.

But… don't judge the moment.

Be grateful for what feels good, free, aligned, happy, and loving in your life right now. Be grateful for how the challenging moments are guiding you, teaching you valuable lessons, redirecting your footsteps, and strengthening you for what’s ahead.

Trust that if things feel dark right now, you aren’t being buried alive… you are actually being planted. You’re being fed, nurtured, watered, and grown until you sprout and blossom and taste the sweet fruits of your labor.

And above all: Remember your personal power. We will never be able to control all out circumstances, or other people. We will never be able to predict the future. But we can always decide our reactions, our responses, and the attitude we bring to the situation in front of us.

So, remember this: We will never be able to see the full picture in any isolated moment. So, it's up to you to trust. To practice patience. To suspend your ego for a moment long enough to be creative, imaginative, and curious. And to dig deep into your past experiences for evidence that even the darkest moments are sometimes the most powerful, and most important, launchpads of our lives.

xoxo,

Alexandra